Handling the Holidays When You Have Trauma

The Holidays Can Be Hard: Let’s Talk About It

Most people associate the holidays with family gatherings, gifts, cookies and beautiful decorations. But what if you don’t have any family or your family is estranged? What if a loved one recently passed away and traditions will look different now? What if you have a lot going on personally and feel burdened down?

There is so much trauma that the holidays can bring up, and for many people, this is a difficult time of year.  Trauma can come from many experiences—loss, abuse, or medical decisions, and little things can become unwelcomed reminders of these difficult experiences. Understanding and navigating your own emotions and journey helps shape a plan for safer, more peaceful holidays.

Recognize Your Triggers

Triggers are people, places, or events that remind you of painful moments. A song, smell, or even a holiday dish may bring back difficult feelings associated with a painful time. When you know your common triggers, you can make choices that help you feel more in control. If you can, avoid these triggers when you’re in a setting around others. If you can’t avoid these triggers, practice self regulation techniques to help you encounter and deal with them head on.

Not all triggers can be expected, and sometimes something might trigger an emotion in you that you didn’t expect to. As much as possible, talk yourself through scenarios beforehand to help you prepare to encounter triggers. Going to grandma’s house and it’s likely you’ll see your cousin who triggers you? Walk yourself through the event beforehand so you can regulate your emotions in private before having to do it at the event.

Plan Ahead

Having a plan gives you the power to handle tough moments. Here are a few ideas that many find helpful:

• Set time limits on events to avoid feeling overwhelmed
• Practice breathing exercises or carry a small fidget item
• Have an exit strategy: a designated quiet spot to step away or a designated safe person to confide in during the event

Planning ahead doesn’t mean you’ll use every tool, but knowing they are there can ease anxiety. Remember, you get to decide what works best for you.

Creating Meaningful Traditions for Yourself

You can shape holiday customs to fit your comfort level. Perhaps you decorate one room instead of the whole house. Or you light a single candle in memory of someone you’ve lost. These small acts can honor your needs and feelings.

Try introducing new traditions that feel safe and joyful. Baking a simple treat, watching a favorite movie, or going for a winter walk can become positive rituals. Over time these moments build fresh, caring memories.

Going Home for the Holidays as a Pregnant Student

People change a lot in college no matter who they are. This change is often accompanied by challenging relationships between friends and family back at home. But if you got pregnant this fall semester and this will be the first time you see your family, it might be extra difficult to go home. If you recently found out you are pregnant, think you might be, or are nearing your due date, Sienna ^[a]is here for you. Call today to schedule a pregnancy test, a pre abortion appointment or if you need any help getting out of a dangerous relationship that is causing you trauma.

Finding Joy During the Holidays

The holidays may feel hard when trauma shadows your joy, but with small steps you can find moments of peace. Take the time and space you need to make the holidays enjoyable for you, and learn how to cope with the things you might encounter with others.

If your family is unaccepting of your pregnancy and you feel pressure to terminate your pregnancy, Sienna can help you. We can also help you navigate telling your parents about your pregnancy, help you come up with a plan and provide referrals to outside resources. Pregnancy should never stop you from enjoying the holidays.